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Birth/First Parent and Family Members

 Please enter your story, your questions, etc., about being a birth/first parent or a prospective birth/first parent or family member.

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Comments (2)

  1. Why I am choosing to make an adoption plan

    I am currently pregnant and am making an adoption for my daughter. When I originally made this choice, family and friends asked why I felt adoption was the only choice I had. My simple answer to them was that it is the right thing to do. I don’t have the money to provide for my boys, and it isn’t fair to the boys or my unborn daughter to continue to struggle.
    There are many aspects of generational poverty (being in poverty for two generations or longer) that myself and my own family of origin faced in the past, and for some of them, continuing into the present. Mine and my sisters’ children will be the third generation living in poverty. Individuals facing generational poverty often believe that destiny and fate decide their lives; choice is seldom considered. The very fact that I realized I have a choice to get my children out of the situation I grew up in, and to keep my unborn daughter out of that situation, meant that I was already defeating some of those thought processes that keep people in the stronghold of poverty. It also doesn’t mean that I don’t love my unborn daughter any more or less than my two boys. It means that I am considering the future and not just living in the moment. I am breaking this cycle of intergenerational poverty for my unborn daughter (and my sons) by making an adoption plan for my daughter.

  2. When asked why Callie chose to make an adoption plan for her unborn child she stated, “The father left me when I was four months pregnant. The father told me he thought it was in the best interest of our child if we put him up for adoption. We both are not fit to be parents at this point in our lives. I was alone with no
    money, no license and in the middle of college. We decided our son deserved to be with parents who could give him every opportunity in life which we can’t… The hardest part [of making an adoption plan]
    was knowing that my son should be with me, but because of my mistakes it is better for him to be with someone else. The easiest part is knowing that my son will make his parents life better. Knowing that I
    was able to give Kristen and Brian an amazing son and the opportunity to have a family of their own.” “I wish people would understand that it’s not giving your child away, it’s giving your child a better life. Adoption isn’t a selfish thing, it’s a entirely loving act. One puts their baby up for adoption out of love for the child and for the
    couple adopting the child. I wanted to quickly talk about the benefits of open adoption. This is a relatively new concept, back in the day all adoptions were closed. From a birth mom stand point I don’t think I would be able to function without knowing that I can have contact with Leo. I appreciate how much time Kristen (adopted mom) spends talking to me and sending me pictures of Leo. I know that this concept can make some adoptive parents anxious however, this is not an invasive relationship and it is still important to keep boundaries and
    it’s important for both parties (adoptive and birth parents) to have a real discussion about how each would like to see side would like the relationship to be. From the child’s stand point, having a relationship with their birth parents is vital. There is less depression among adopted children who had a relationship with their birth parents. They get to see where their traits and personality comes from. It helps
    them be able to better understand themselves as a person and how they fit in the context of their world. They get to ask the tough questions such as –Why did you give me up for adoption- and the birth parents
    are right there to have an open and honest conversation about that. Also medically, being able to know the medical background is extremely important.” Extracted from “This Family’s Journey” through KWWL”
    blogger Shelley Russell. http://addins.kwwl.com/blogs/journey/2013/04 with permission from Shelley to re-print. Read Shelley’s journey as a prospective adoptive parent.

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